ahhhhh christmastime.

I don't care if me saying christmas is not "politically correct". I don't try to get anyone to not say Happy Hannukah or Happy Kwanzaa, so don't try to change my wording either ok? It has been an interesting few weeks. I have given up on trying to form any kind of relationship with Ryan's family. I can't really get blamed for that after all the things they've said and done to me. I have just hit the end of my rope. I need a break, eventually they will notice that the only reason Ryan ever talks to any of them is because of me. He never wants to call or go see them, but that's all my fault according to them. Why can't we just be family? Why is it always, because I'm the newcomer, everything that doesn't go your way, is my fault. Don't try to deny all of it either, I know you too well.

Anyways, we have been having some problems at Will's school. Some of the kids have been telling Will his daddy is a killer and he will grow up and be one too. What a horrible thing to say to a kid. You know the parents are teaching them that too, kids don't learn those things on their own. It's just not right. So Ryan went up in uniform today to the school to talk about his job and give the kids something to think about. I wonder if it will end once and for all. I think he is doing great now that he's had time to adjust. I am very proud of him. He gets smarter and smarter everyday right in front of my eyes.

Alex is doing good, had a little bit of a stomach problem today, but let's hope it was just one time otherwise it will be a long night in my house. Especially since Ryan is on twelve hour shifts. I need some sleep, I hope that he can sleep good and feel better by tomorrow. Wish me luck on that!!

I am doing ok, this is my favorite time of year, I love to see all the lights and decorations people put up. I like the look of the decorations in my house, it makes me feel all warm and cozy inside. Plus it's a free excuse to drink hot chocolate all the time!!! I can't wait to see the kids faces when they come downstairs christmas morning and see all the presents waiting for them. It makes my year to see them so happy. I feel good, just need some sleep and a relaxing, hot, shower.

Happy Birthday to my dear ol dad!!!

Laura