Just thought I would start this one off with a bang ya know? My 4 year old is now my bodyguard, so if there is anything negative you need to discuss with me, you can take it up with him. Why is he my bodyguard you may ask? Because he is now a white belt in karate and knows how to break a board with his bare fist. That's right I said it, ok so a white belt is only a beginner but it's better than knowing nothing at all right?
Other than that tidbit of information, I really am not happy today. I was planning to go down to kc and spend the weekend with my family since Ryan has to work, but nooo, the weather decided to go and start being nasty. So instead I went to the grocery store and realized after getting there and starting to shop, how am I supposed to pick up the bottle of detergent when I can't lift over five pounds? Or the dog food bag? If I did get someone to help me get them in the cart, then how was I supposed to get them in my car/ house when I got home? This is causing a slight dilemma for me.
My stitches come out next friday, ok I just realized I didn't explain why I have stitches. I had surgery on valentine's day. Nothing major just something that I felt would make me feel better about myself and in turn help me when I am around others. No one pushed me to do it, it was for me and only me, it has nothing to do with attention or whatever anyone else would like to claim. It was solely something for me. For once I did something that had nothing to do with anyone else or their feelings or their thoughts, and it feels great to know I can make decisions without worrying about what anyone else thinks.
I am going on a cruise with my mom, aunts, and nana in about 6 weeks and I am soo excited for the break from being mommy. Not that I don't love it because there is no greater moment than when my boys cover me in kisses and tell me they love me so much. But sometimes I just want to sleep in, and be able to eat my food without anyone asking for any of it, and I can go wherever I want without loading up the kids and having to watch them like a hawk so they don't touch or break anything. It will be a nice break and it's just us girls. Plus it's my first time to mexico!!
I am hoping Ryan doesn't have to work all day everyday this weekend, I kinda miss him. I would like to have a moment or two of his time. C'est la vie.
Friday, February 25, 2011
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
is respect a lost artform?
I really do ponder that question almost on a daily basis. I know no one probably reads this but it feels kind of nice to get these feelings out and be able to look back on them later, hopefully with the answer to these questions in tow. I am starting to figure out during my second year of change that maybe I have given mankind too much credit when it comes to personal relationships. For a long time I was convinced that respect for another person and their feelings was just the right thing to do. Unfortunately I am wrong in that belief.
Time and time again it has been proven to me that no one cares about anyones feelings or the fact that they are a person who might have feelings at all. I feel very sad about having to face this fact and it truly breaks my heart to have to accept this from people. Especially people who have been in a very high regard to me in certain points in my life. This year of change may be the harder of the two. Coming to the realization that my eternal optimism in human compassion and understanding has been wrong and now I have to accept it, may be a breaking point for me.
I have had friends come and go, it has never bothered me because obviously there has been a reason for their removal from my life. I can accept that and move on, but when you effect my children and desert them and then have the nerve to disgrace them with your words when they are so innocent and precious, I am appalled and disgusted. In a million years, no matter how much I detested someone, I would NEVER EVER talk about their children. To anyone at anytime, that is called respect. I may not like you, but your child did nothing to me and even if they did, it is not something that is considered proper to be an adult and talk disgustingly about someone else's child. You as an adult have the responsibility to act like one and if you have a problem with someone else's child that is younger than you, you discuss it with their parent or move the hell on with your life.
I literally may throw up from some of the things I have found out being said about my precious boys. They have never, and I repeat never done anything to deserve such ignorant, appalling, flat out rude remarks to be made about them. I don't care how you feel about me. How can a person sit there, and claim to be all about living with God and being a better person then turn around and have such vulgarity come out of their mouths about one of God's most precious creations? It's just plain sick and I hope for your sake if you ever read this, you realize what a sick, twisted person you really are and you make it right.
I hope that during this year of change I can finally find some people who are genuine and really do have enough self-respect and decency to be a good human being. No matter the circumstances, no matter the cost, because being a good person, a truly good person, is worth more in the end than how many friends you have or how popular you are. Covering yourself in reaffirmations in your relationship and insignificant things your friends do with you is not worth living with the knowledge that you have truly wronged someone. I can only hope that I am not the only one who shares in this belief. Otherwise we truly are on the verge of hell on earth.
Time and time again it has been proven to me that no one cares about anyones feelings or the fact that they are a person who might have feelings at all. I feel very sad about having to face this fact and it truly breaks my heart to have to accept this from people. Especially people who have been in a very high regard to me in certain points in my life. This year of change may be the harder of the two. Coming to the realization that my eternal optimism in human compassion and understanding has been wrong and now I have to accept it, may be a breaking point for me.
I have had friends come and go, it has never bothered me because obviously there has been a reason for their removal from my life. I can accept that and move on, but when you effect my children and desert them and then have the nerve to disgrace them with your words when they are so innocent and precious, I am appalled and disgusted. In a million years, no matter how much I detested someone, I would NEVER EVER talk about their children. To anyone at anytime, that is called respect. I may not like you, but your child did nothing to me and even if they did, it is not something that is considered proper to be an adult and talk disgustingly about someone else's child. You as an adult have the responsibility to act like one and if you have a problem with someone else's child that is younger than you, you discuss it with their parent or move the hell on with your life.
I literally may throw up from some of the things I have found out being said about my precious boys. They have never, and I repeat never done anything to deserve such ignorant, appalling, flat out rude remarks to be made about them. I don't care how you feel about me. How can a person sit there, and claim to be all about living with God and being a better person then turn around and have such vulgarity come out of their mouths about one of God's most precious creations? It's just plain sick and I hope for your sake if you ever read this, you realize what a sick, twisted person you really are and you make it right.
I hope that during this year of change I can finally find some people who are genuine and really do have enough self-respect and decency to be a good human being. No matter the circumstances, no matter the cost, because being a good person, a truly good person, is worth more in the end than how many friends you have or how popular you are. Covering yourself in reaffirmations in your relationship and insignificant things your friends do with you is not worth living with the knowledge that you have truly wronged someone. I can only hope that I am not the only one who shares in this belief. Otherwise we truly are on the verge of hell on earth.
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