since when did this year get so crappy?

I am in an emotionally tough spot at the present moment. There is so many things going on I don't know if/how to keep up. One of my friends is hurting, and I know that there is really nothing I can do, but surely there is some way to ease their pain? My grandfather is very sick, but how can I be there for him, when we have never really had any kind of relationship? My oldest son is about to go to full time school in a few weeks, I don't know how to handle being away from him all day 5 days a week. Can I get some guidance here? My husband got a promotion at his job, which I am so grateful for, but now they want to change his schedule when it took us six months to get it changed to this one. It seems no matter what is going on, somehow I always find a way to get put on the hard road.

I am ok with that sometimes, you can learn alot of being on that road to begin with, but just once, can anything be easy? I am so thankful for everything we have. I even discussed it with Ryan yesterday. From five years ago to today, we are in a completely different life and mindset. That's amazing, but still. No one can prepare you or how quickly change will come or how it will take shape upon your life. This is kind of extreme don't you think?

So what can I learn from everything going on right now. With my grandfather I need to learn understanding. I think this situation is teaching me, that feeling indifferent about how to react is ok and bound to happen. But because I am compassionate, loving, and willing, maybe somehow this situation will heal our relationship. With my friend, I need to learn to let go. I can be there to talk to him and listen when he needs to vent,but I can't take on all the responsibility to try and fix his problems when I know I don't have it in me to do so.

I also need to learn to let go with my son. It is hard to watch him grow up, and be more independent, but I can't be selfish and keep him with me all the time. I know he loves school and he will do amazing. With my husbands job, I need to learn control. Things aren't always going to go the way I want them to, his job is how we are able to do everything we do. I need to learn to not get so upset about when he has to work, even if its 7 days a week 12 hour shifts, like it has been. There are just some things, I can't control, and it's hard to deal with that, but you have to make do.

I hope that somehow I find strength and understanding sooner rather than later, because emotionally I am just too drained to keep it up the way I have been. I hope everyone is being safe, and remember to be grateful for what you do have, you never know when it will change.